The big Madeira rip-off culture for foreigners and tourists is still alive and well I see, as having gone several months with nothing of note (partly because I choose carefully where I go and who I trust), the sting was definately on me ... or was I totally mistaken?

Before I go any further with this, it is important to say that I am not labelling every business on the island as racist and fraudulent, because I know plenty that definately are not ... I just wish they had red beacons and sirens, so I could spot them easily!

OK, with the disclaimer out of the way, I continue. I am not going to name the bar/restaurant concerned, because what they were doing was almost entirely legal, but for the purpose of this story I am going to use a pseudonym instead. So lets call this establishment The noD sLuí Restaurant in a non-existent town called Bibeira Rrava.

The noD sLuí is a place I have been several times before, and the normal waiter there is a nice guy, and I never had any problems before, aside from the fact that the normal prices were a bit expensive anyway, but I knew that and I could choose to go there or not, depending on the cash flow.

However, the nice guy waiter was on his night off, so the manager of the restaurant was incorrectly primed about the ethnic status of his customer and friend who had sat down to watch the football (you can only watch the TV from outside).

According to the price list (which I notice was promptly removed after our verbal scuffle), a medium glass of beer (balão) was one euro. So logic would say that the three beers consumed would cost three euros. On asking for the bill, I was presented with a bill for FIVE EUROS and FOURTY CENTS.

I asked to see the price list, and was invited inside by the manager, to look at a list (at that time pinned to a wall, away from public view). I don't speak Portuguese so well, but enough to know that he was telling me that was the price being charged was for outside service. Now that is legal, I know, and I don't have an issue with it, as on occasions I have to pay TEN CENTS more for the privilege of outside service. But this was a mark-up of EIGHTY PERCENT.

Now the noD sLuí, let me explain, is a bar/restaurant, where the actual and only bar service area is on the outside of the building. So although you can sit down inside, you either have to call a waiter or go outside and ask for your tipple, and go back in and sit down again. This way allcomers can achieve normal price apparently. However, if you sit outside where the waiter is normally based, and life is infact so much easier for him, then you will suffer an 80% uplift in prices. The locals seem to tolerate this policy remarkably well, because it is a well busy bar at times, and all the customers sit outside. Next to my table was a group of 4 children, enjoying a drink and some ice cream. Obviously they were not short of pocket money, and didn't mind paying the 80% uplift for outside service, as I could still hear them laughing as left after paying their bill.

The story has a temporary happy ending, in that in return for giving back the incriminating overinflated receipt, I was then charged the same price the locals pay ... oh, sorry, I meant to say the indoors price. 

The government knows it goes on, the department of tourism, knows it goes on, and the people of Madeira know it goes on (thanks and respect to those locals who occasionally write letters to the local press on the matter). It is about time the authorities took control of this issue and cleaned up Madeira's image.

Imagine the joy of someone who can now find a very cheap flight to Madeira, stay in prebooked decent quality low budget accommodation. Within a few minutes of leaving the airport, they pay near double the rate they should pay in taxi fares, followed by lunch and drinks with double helpings of rip-off for afters.

The stories are endless, 6 euros for a bottle of water, 20 euros for a cheap baseball cap, oh sorry I forgot your change sir. I am now thinking of getting some t-shirts made "OK, I am a foreigner and I can't help that, but I have lived here xx years, please don't rip me off" Can someone please translate that into Portuguese for me.

http://www.madeira4u.com